The Poodle Lecture
Notes and Comments
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YOU CAN'T DO THAT ON STAGE ANYMORE, vol 6 The Poodle Lecture Notes and Comments |
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| Below is lecture's transcription synced:-))) here and there with the video images of Baby Snakes movie. | ||
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The Poodle Lecture (You Can't Do That On Stage Anymore - Vol. 6 / Baby Snakes Video) |
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In the beginning God made 'the light.' Shortly thereafter God made three big mistakes. The first mistake was called man, the second mistake was called wo-man and the third mistake was the invention of the poodle. Now the reason the poodle was such a big mistake is because God originally wanted to build a Schnauzer, but he fucked up. Now long time ago the poodle used to be a very attractive dog. The poodle had hair evenly distributed all over it's small piquant canine type body. That's the way it used to be, the poodle used to be a regular looking dog. You know it's true, I guess you do too. |
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Oh, I have to kiss you? Oh okay. Anyway listen, check this out. The poodle used to look good, you know the regular dogs that used to hang round the neighbourhood looked at the poodle and they didn't think anything of it. They didn't use to make fun of it in the olden days. But the wo-man, as you know, has always been much smarter than the man. * That stuff is very bad for you, throw it away, okay. Now you're interupting my story, now listen: What is that? Is that the tower of power or what. Oh no no no, it's one of those dope feind devices, take it away, now listen: The wo-man has always been much smarter than the man, you know this is true. And so it was since the beginning of time. The man would do anything to get some pussy. And that's why the wo-man always had control over him. In the beginning the wo-man looked the man directly into the eye and said: I tell you what, why don't you go get a job because I could use a few nice things around the house. |
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Mainly what I need is a clipper, a scissors and a pair of zircon encrusted tweezers, (get's a necklace from someone out of the audience) -thank you very much. |
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And of course the man did his duty as they say in the trade. He went out and he got a goddamn job. Went out and pushed that broom around for about $2.98 an hour, brought his money back to the garden of Eden and gave that money to the wo-man. The wo-man ran out the back door of the garden of Eden went directly to the hardware store. Got the clippers, the scissors and the zircon encrusted tweezers and came back and while the man was very tired from having his job, while he was sleeping the wo-man got a hold of the poodle. Because the wo-man had noticed earlier that the lenght and the proportion of the poodle's oral appendage, the tongue of the dog in other words, ladies and gentlemen, was very much to her liking, except that this dog had too goddamn much hair on it. It didn't have the disco look that's so popular nowadays. And so the wo-man sat out to modify the afore mentioned dog. Let me get a little eh visual aid. (Zappa takes a pink stuffed poodle) Now she took the dog and she cleaned it up a little bit. You see, she took a little bit of the back-part here around the neck, the thorax, the tootsies. Got all of the unwanted extranious material of this area which we shall call Burbank. And then she sat the little sucker up like this, really nice. Got his mouth set up like that and squatted right on him. Looking down into the dog's eye. She looked down into the dogs eyes, do you know what she said to the dog. She said: |
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| * Edited out from this lecture, but to be heard on video 'Baby Snakes' 00:18.04: 'Brooklyn for example ?? 'The present day composer refuses to die, it should give Edgard Varese credit right down there. Should have his name on it. Thank you, okay. (followed by Dirty Love) | ||
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| Check out zircon encrusted tweezers heavy-duty usage on | ||
| OVERNITE SENSETION. Montana | ||
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Any proposal? I'd like to hear!
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Provocation, compilation and design © Vladimir Sovetov, 1994-2004 You could download, copy and redistribute this material freely as long as you keep copyright notice intact and don't make any profite on it. |