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JUST ANOTHER BAND FROM L.A.

 Magdalena

Notes and Comments
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There was a man
A little ole man
Who lived in Montreal
With a wife and a kid
And a car and a house
And a teenage daughter
With a see-thru blouse
Who loved to grunt and ball - -
And her name was Magdalena
From: Vladimir Sovetov <sova@kpbank.ru>
  It seems to me that this is FZ's version of some real story he can read or hear of. Something like The Illinois Enema Bandit's stuff. Does anyone happen to know the name of prototype and his true story?
From: calclass@wavenet.com (Nigey Lennon)
  The song "Magdalena" was written before I joined the tour, but I don't think it was based on anything in particular, like an article or a story. However, it did create a spin-off, "Winnipeg Rangers", the chorus of which went: "Rangers, ho! Rangers, ho! Rangers ho-ho-ho". This song, being rather fragmentary, was never performed in concert or recorded, mostly being sung in airports during the tour. There was always lots of joking going on during the tour about the various lyrics, and from that often came modifications of the songs in performance. For instance, in "Bwana Dik", there was originally a reference to Hodgkins' disease -- instead of "I didn't know you were so obviously -- pregnant" it was "I didn't know you so obviously had -- Hodgkins' disease", and the chorus went "Hodgkins' disease, Hodgkins' disease". However, even Frank felt this was too 'sick', and it was dropped after a few performances.
  Once upon a time Howard Kaylan himself was kind enough to clarify
  I WROTE THOSE WORDS... THERE WASN'T A REAL STORY... SEE, THESE ARE JUST "SONGS".
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"She looks all right!"
And he reached for a tit
And grabbed it tight
And threw her up
Against the wall
(BLUE CROSS!)
From: sweet@ucs.usc.edu (Rob Sweet)
  Blue Cross - long time health care insurance provider. Not sure what the reference means here.
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DOODLE DOODLE DOODLE
DUH-DUH DEE-UH
DOODLE DOODLE DOODLE
DUH-DUH DEE-UH
From: matt@lainet.com (Matt Bloomfield)
  "Hey de-due" (sic) Adee Plumbing still has commercials on TV (been running about 30 years continuously). The commercials would always start out listing of host of plumbing problems that the average Joe could run into, and finish up with some geeky guy in a sing-song voice assuring the viewing public that "Adee Do" all that stuff, so call 'em!
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Magdalena, Magdalena,
Magdalena, Magdalena,
daughter of the smog-filled winds
of Los Angeles,
From: Vladimir Sovetov <sova@kpbank.ru>
  This strange shift from Quebec to California seems to be typical gig's site dependant joke. On _Swiss Cheese_ Magdalena's version Howard Kaplan :-) improvised here about
... walking down the street of Montreax ...skating on the slopes
of our choice...
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I'd like to take you in the closet
and take off your little clothes
until you're virtually stark raving nude,
spread mayonaise and kaopectate
all over your body
From: pclogie <MBLSEL@worldnet.att.net>
  It is a pink anti-diarrea (sp) medicine similar to pepto-bismol etc.
From: biffyshrew@aol.com (Biffyshrew)
  A solution of kaolin (a chalky white clay) and pectin, used to relieve diarrhea. Why even as big a perv as the Canadian daddy would want to use it as a sexual lubricant is a question better left unasked.
  CC
From: Vladimir Sovetov <sova@kpbank.ru>
  Similar idea of minor's sex abusage can be found on _Absolutely Free_ _Brown Shoes Don't Make It_
If she were my daughter, I'd ...
What would you do, Daddy?
Smother my daughter in chocolate syrup
And strap her on again, oh baby
  Yes, you couldn't just did a wee-wee in her hair... :-)))))))))))
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and take you down to Hollywood Boulevard
and we can, we can walk down the streets
by the stars that say Jon Provost
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and Leo G. Carroll
From: Charles Ulrich <culrich@pomona.edu>
  Jon Provost: child actor who played Timmy on Lassie, CBS television, 1957-1964.
  Leo G. Carroll (1892-1972): British character actor, appeared in films such as Wuthering Heights, Rebecca, North by Northwest, but FZ would probably have preferred Tarantula, a 1955 monster movie. Carroll played the title role in the Topper TV series and Mr.Waverley in The Man from U.N.C.L.E.
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We can go dancing up at the Cinegrill ...
From: matt@lainet.com (Matt Bloomfield)
  The Cinegrill - a once trendy Hollywood Blvd. lounge lizard spot, recently revived and still in business...
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I didn't mean, I didn't need, I mean ...
it was so hard for me ...
I just ...
I saw you standing
under the Shell pest strip late last
From: sweet@ucs.usc.edu (Rob Sweet)
  Shell no-pest strip - a bug killing plastic slab that was mounted in a cardboard box that would hang from your porch light - like ... mistletoe ! Brought to you by the Shell Oil Company.
From: chris@transdata.co.nz (Chris Grace)
  Later withdrawn from the market as they were found to be toxic to humans.
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I'm down on my knees to ya, Magdalena...
I wantcha ta walk back to me,
Baby... I wantcha to turn around
by the Sparkletts machine... that's it!
From: sweet@ucs.usc.edu (Rob Sweet)
  Sparklett's - long time supplier of bottled water.
From: chris@transdata.co.nz (Chris Grace)
  Maybe, but not in this case. Sparklets machines are those soda water dispensers which you fill with water, then screw a little steel capsule of carbon dioxide gas into. Result: Soda water (club soda/seltzer for americans)
From: biffyshrew@aol.com
  Rob Sweet's explanation is correct and Chris Grace's "correction" is wrong. Sparkletts bottled water was very heavily advertised in southern California, and the "machine" is the cooler you rent from the company. Interestingly, when I moved from south-of-L.A. (San Diego) to south-of-San Francisco (San Mateo) in the '80s, I discovered that the same water is sold here under the name Alhambra. The TV commercials (a silly country-western song sung by a folksy delivery man) were the same, just with a different name.
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Jesus picture on the wall...
and I want you to step, Baby, I want you
to walk back in your five inch spike heels
that you got at Frederick's,
From: sweet@ucs.usc.edu (Rob Sweet)
  Frederick's - Frederick's of Hollywood; purveyor of women's lingerie.
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was so wrong?...my god,
I was only following the sexual impulse like
I heard on the Johnny Carson Show...
from a book or something I wrote,
From: sweet@ucs.usc.edu (Rob Sweet)
  Johnny Carson - the venerable long-time host of "The Tonight Show"; now hosted by Jay Leno
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SOVA NOSE Any proposal? I'd like to hear!
Provocation, compilation and design © Vladimir Sovetov, 1994-2004
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